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    >> All lyrics and chords of "Eminem"
     Kids
    >> Eminem
     
        [Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman)
    And everyone should get along..
    Okay children quiet down, quiet down
    Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
    His name is Mr. Shady
    Children quiet down please
    Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
    Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
    while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!)
    Good luck Mr. Shady

    [Eminem]
    Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
    Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
    But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
    Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
    and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
    but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
    And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
    and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
    when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
    Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
    And even if they escaped and they got the cops
    the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
    'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
    when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
    But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
    But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
    Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
    You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
    He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her
    and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
    But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
    they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
    And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
    and what it might do to you
    So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you

    [Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]

    See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
    and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
    and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
    She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
    So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
    So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
    Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
    Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

    [Eminem]
    My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
    FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
    Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
    Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
    If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
    Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
    and spinal fluid is vital, you won't get it back
    So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
    Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
    After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
    and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
    and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
    Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
    and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
    His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
    He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
    And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
    "Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
    cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
    So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
    Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
    and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
    And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
    So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you

    [Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]

    See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
    and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
    and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can)
    She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
    So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
    So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right)
    And there's really nothin else to say (but umm)
    Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

    [Eminem]
    And last but not least, one of the most humungous
    problems among young people today, is fungus
    It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
    bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
    Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
    And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
    And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
    Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
    (Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire
    Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
    And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
    Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
    Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
    cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
    See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
    But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
    But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
    They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
    and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
    So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
    cause I'm bad for you

    [Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]

    See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
    and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
    and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
    She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
    So kids say no to drugs (say no)
    So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do)
    And there's really nothin else to say (that's right)
    Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

    [Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman)
    Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
    Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
    Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
    So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
    so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
    (Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
    (So, fucked up, right now..)
     
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